Archive for October, 2010


Kismet – Fate /Destiny/ A sequence of pre arranged events
There are those moment in life where you go hey, hang on, that’s really co incidental..
There are those times when you think have I seen that somewhere before?
Some people call this De Ja Vu..
For me, being raised by my grandmother who read tarot for a living and painted her “dreams” in abstract form over the concrete driveway I learned from an early age that some things are better not to try and name.
I wonder if it is co incidence that I see what I see ?
Are these things inherited or designed? Do we will them for ourselves or are they fates blessing regardless of desire ?
Have you ever lay dreaming of the past only to have it unravel before your eyes.. then interchange with the present moment in a kaleidoscope of what ifs and may have beens, things merging together fragments of yesterday fragmets of today.. what do we call this and do we dare try to explain?

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All Of Me

I stand.. holding myself out to you. Tiny peices of me float to the floor as your breath wills them away.

I care not.. for I live still for peices of you. Tiny peices of you fall into my palm and gather to warm my crimson heart.

 I fear I am less than you dream, for I am human, fragile and flawed. I stay still… for underneath I have love, which is strong,enduring and perfectly attuned to all moments of you.

I  reach, yet your seasons drift.. bipolar residence in my world.. you move endlessly, difficult to grasp

This is the beauty of you.. A reflection of  the gift of scattered peices of me.. nature dances around us, carving rhythmn with her pen..music plays.. shades of change..we cover our eyes

Love returns

I hold out all of me, you turn away

So I leave peices

Fragmented petals, fragranced with heart,warmed by history and soul

Tiny peices of me.. scattered gently

They lay at your door

For when you come home 


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Sometimes we lick our wounds with salt covered tongues

Sometimes it’s as if making sure our flaws remain vulnerable become as liquor to an alcoholic

A safety net when things become complicated

The old, one more time and then I will stop –

Becomes an internal mantra


We continue on paths we know aren’t where we want to be headed yet refuse to change course

We think we will be happy “when”

We surround ourselves with material possesions, convincing ourselves that these adornments to our void hearts will bring us everything we secretly wish for.

We fill our lives with bandaids

Our desire to be loved leads us often to realms of loveless sexual encounters,and relationships lacking in intimacy of the soul. Temporary fulfillments –

Yet we convinced ourselves we would be so happy “when”

One more lie, one more day, one more painted smile,one more compromisation of ourselves


What we need is unavailable in any store

Is nowhere near that well worn path


We need to let our wounds bleed freely in order to completly heal, we need to expose ourselves as less than perfect and admit unrest, unacceptance, insecurity and doubt and lay out who we are and what we desire naked and entirely void of chameleon guards

And if we are truly prepared to be ourselves, raw and unadorned

And if we are truly blessed


Fate smiles upon us

Love doth prevail

And we shall be healed


~ Me ^!^

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What you don’t realise..as you hurl words like that are the effect of the sting .It lasts a long long time, a sort of betrayal of you and I against the world. It embeds in my memory as if flesh a slow burning stinging sensation each time I remember..

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Moments to Cherish

I don’t quite know how it came to be that I have made such beautiful and talented creatures. I stared at her tonight, perfecting her craft upon that stage with an audience so captive it shocked even the most devoted fan.. me.

I looked to my left though at another sweet little face, so brave so clever so determined.. then to my right at a shiny little smile enamoured and proud of her big sister and thought to myself..”I made these perfect little beings and I am so lucky and so blessed to know their love”

She will go far they kept saying, she was amazing he said… all I heard was my own heart, proud and thankful..

All I want is for her to follow her dreams and make it to whatever star it is that will bring her the love and peace I shall wish for her always

It’s all I wish for any of them

Nights like tonight when they shine doing something they love makes all the running around, all the stress , all the cost and all the dramas and tears worthwhile..whatever that moment may be

These are the moments we cherish..

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